Ten take-aways from this session:
- Identify your strongest need
- Fall in love with yourself
- Feel significant
- Create a stronger sense of self-awareness
- Point out and celebrate wins
- Create how you want to feel
- Walk with your team, not in front of them, then walk behind them
- Speak the language of love
- Unconditionally believe in people
- Recognise what’s great about people
***The following transcript has been automatically generated and is presented here unchecked***
LinkedIn Live How to cultivate a positive mindset to boost y…
Thu, 8/18 [5:46]PM • [1:03:22]
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
people, personal trainer, max, feel, gym, progress, significance, jenny, high achiever, clients, person, pts, questions, apprentices, coach, knowing, bit, stronger, speak, conversation
SPEAKERS
Nadine Powrie, Max
Nadine Powrie [00:01]
A very good afternoon to everybody around the world who is going to be watching us. I’m Nadine Powrie, Executive and leadership coach and workplace mediator.
Hello, I’m Jenny Lynn. I’m a leadership development person. I facilitate leadership programs. And I work on one to one with leaders in primarily in schools.
Hello, everybody, my name is John Danes. I am a consultant working with leaders in education. And in the charity arena.
Max [00:36]
Hi, guys, my name is Max. I’m a gym owner, I earn maximum fitness. And my sole purpose is to help motivate, inspire, and create people to become fitter and stronger on the journey to success.
Nadine Powrie [00:49]
I love I love the fuzziness of your voice Max, thank you for that. So if I if I just before we start, I just say hello to our friends around the world. And hello to a very special community for us in Dubai and in Abu Dhabi. And hello to Nick Sharif, who should be with us to this afternoon. But who isn’t? Because he is unwell. So wishing you a speedy recovery.
All the best neck. Yeah.
Nadine Powrie [01:21]
So why why is max here today. And you know, I didn’t know Max until about a week ago, we should declare that. Max is Jenny, personal trainer. And Jenny spoke to me about Max and Max and I and Jenny had to kind of prep time before before today. And when I spoke to Max, you said two things, right? So Max talked about the concept of significance. So for me, it was like wow. And then he mentioned the cap Mac, the cap man triangle or the Drama Triangle. And I thought, Oh, I have to have maps on my LinkedIn live to explore those two things, right. And and to link it to the topic today, which is all about, you know, positive mindset and well being. So Max, welcome and welcome, Jenny and Shan. But, Max, I’m going to start with you. Because I would like you to share with the 706 million users of LinkedIn. Could you could you share with you with us the concept of significance to start with
Max [02:41]
the concept of significance. It’s, it’s one of your six basic human needs. So you know, we’re all very different, but we all have the same needs. So we’ve got certainty, uncertainty, love and connection, significance, and growth and contribution and these six needs that we have help influence our decisions. So we all we all have the same needs, but we we we value them on different levels. So for example, we’re the first to have certainty and uncertainty right now, there is almost too much certainty going on in the world to the point where we’re a bit bored doing the same thing over and over again. So that’s why we’ve got that need for variety, we need a holiday. But in other areas, there was too much variety, and when there’s too much variety feels chaotic. You know, and, and these that like, for example, these two needs, you know, we all know someone who goes on holiday to the same destination every single year without failure. And that’s because they value certainty more than variety, whereas uncertainty, so there’s other people who go to different places in the world all the time, because they value uncertainty more than writing. So there are two basic needs. And then going back to the significance and love and connection, these are two important needs as well. And the you know, so with significance, everyone wants to feel significant. No one wants to feel insignificant, you may not want to be the person, we’re all the lights are shining on you and the crowds are cheering your names, but you certainly don’t want to be the person who no one cares about and has zero interest in getting to know, you know, there’s a there’s a baseline of a need to feel significant on some level for us all, you know, the the the need is love and connection, you know, you’re raised on love and connection, we feel great one where feel loved and we’re connected to others, you know, is a really important parts of that. And then the last two needs, growth and contribution, we need to be growing to feel good and we need to be contributing as well, to feel like we’ve got purpose so they all go in together. But you know, with significance, that’s, for me personally quite a strong driver. It’s one of my stronger needs out of the six. But you know, we’re all we’re all different in that area. But yeah, significance is basically just one of the basic human needs. And that’s why I mentioned the other two Today,
Nadine Powrie [05:00]
I am just gonna say hello to Jenny plant. And Jenny is a friend of mine. So hello, Jenny, and thanks for listening. And thank you, Nick. I think it’s amazing. I think it’s pretty amazing. If I if I have, I mean, whenever I’ve had a personal trainer in my life, we’ve never spoken about significance and the Drama Triangle, which is why I think that your approach is quite fascinating. So is a significance related to, to making someone feel good?
Max [05:33]
Yeah, totally. I mean, like, in the sense of, so I feel like significance of the love and connection part go hand in hand. So with our gym, our goal, one of our main priorities is to make sure that everyone who walks through the door feel significant, because nine times out of 10, you start going to the gym, usually, because you feel quite insignificant, in the sense of you might not look like the way that you look in the mirror, you might not like the fact that you can’t walk up the stairs without getting out of breath, you know, self esteem usually isn’t great, hence why we go to a personal trainer in hopes that they can help, you know, install some level of of confidence or and NS stronger in a sense of significance. So our job is to really, you know, make sure that we know people’s names, we recognize when they’re doing great, really to emphasize the wins, and to celebrate the fact that wow, you are actually doing so fantastic, because a lot of people, you know, go through life and experience more sort of maybe negative talk than than positive talk. And it’s, I think it takes a confident person to be able to go out of their way to say, You’re fantastic, because not many people do that, you know. So that’s what we really pride on at our gym is to point out the wins, and to really celebrate the parts about the person that maybe they don’t even recognize, to the point where they create a stronger level of self awareness so that they can recognize themselves when they’re doing well. But also, you know, they just fall in love with themselves in a way that they maybe didn’t do before. And I think, you know, when they come in such a vulnerable state, we offer that nurturing sort of if you want to put it that way. And by pointing out, you know, what’s what’s great about them, and that just helps them create a stronger level of significance, the more significant, they feel more confident, they feel more confident the field, the more competence, they become more competent they become the more confident they feel. And therefore, you know, it’s just a never ending circle. Really.
It’s another aspect to that, Max, because I’ve been coming now for four years, and those of you who know me will know I’m not a national, natural athlete. But I guess it’s also but it’s also about not judging. And I think that for, for the majority of people, the gym is not necessarily a natural environment. And certainly when I went you know, if you presented me with a gym on one side and the torture chamber on the other side, I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Because to me, I have no knowledge of how to work the equipment, no confidence that how to do it. And working with the ethos that’s there, which is comes directly from Max, it’s very much about initiative assessment, although, you know, it’s probably not something that you would recognize, but it’s it’s about you improving yourself, you’re not necessarily competing with others. So the lack of judgment along with that nificant and every every person who walks in is greeted personally and quite by all the PTs and not just the PTS but the the body column apprentices as well. So there is you do feel that you are part of a club is maybe the wrong word, but something quite special.
Nadine Powrie [08:51]
A community community Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, very much. So you kept creating that and that for me, the strongest thing was the lack of judgment.
Maximum Max, come in I noticed I noticed you stop. I wasn’t sure if you dried up this is that this is really, really interesting. And I get I guess, you’re certainly onto something aren’t you? Because this is is a basic human need whether people really realize it or not. And the fact that you are you are making that one of your key foci I think is is probably one of the reasons why you’re having this success. So you are I was really interested in so far most of my teaching background and when I one of the things I see a lot is teachers who are attempting to make their students feel significant feel done well, but their expectations are, are too low. And, and that the danger of that is that there’s a hollowness about that if I if I, if I if I do something and it’s kind of I know it’s kind of mediocre, and you say Jan has actually fantastic well done, fella, you know, I’m gonna go, huh? Yeah, so my question which is why the long term game I understand so apologies for that is is with your with a staff because it’s a you’re completely get it because you’re the boss and you’re totally so with your staff, how do you get them to understand that subtlety with regard to being genuine about that, that promotion of significance to avoid that sort of hollow message.
Max [10:50]
So all my personal trainers, where I took them on to our gym based on their social and emotional intelligence, so for that exact reason, in the sense of very, very hard to transfer an emotion, when you don’t really understand your role. So, you know, a lot of our personal trainers are really socially and emotionally intelligent, and they understand themselves. And when you understand yourself, you can understand others. So, you know, it’s a lot easier to give someone something that you have than something that you don’t have, and, and being able to recognize in that person by using their social and emotional intelligence, what they need in that moment, is key. You know, so I’m quite fortunate in the sense of, in the gym industry, stereotypically, usually full of narcissistic, self obsessed people, because really, what you go in there for is to build the way that you look. So you know, in one aspect, part of the gym is a little bit, you know, what’s the word, it’s about looking a certain way, because we’re all going there to create a certain look or see and feel. And whereas the with, with our personal trainers, you know, they’re not picked based on their talents, as you know how big and muscular they are, or how much they can let that picked on their ability to be able to have a conversation to be able to spot you know, you know, developmental areas and know the right tools on how to improve that. So, you know, how I get them to do it is one by lead by example, by doing it myself, but to trust in them. You know, I think a lot can be said when it comes to trust, and a lot of people are I think if you’ve got a manager who doesn’t trust you, you’ll be scared, they take potential leaps Johnson, there’s been a lot of times when my personal trainers have come back to me, sorry, this didn’t work. And this isn’t where and you know, I would always encourage them and be like, great. Now we found out how it doesn’t work. What can we do to make sure it works for next time. So, you know, they’re really encouraged to make mistakes, because they’re human at the end of the day. But, you know, I feel like their emotional intelligence, helps them know when the right time is to say, Wow, that was great. And while it wasn’t, but again, with them tracking the client’s progress, you know, sometimes a lot well, what I encourage them to do is get them to ask their clients, how do they feel about that? So rather than me go into you, oh, my god, Jana was amazing. You know, being like, you know, John, how did you how do you how do you think you did that? And you know, getting you to recognize your success is really important, but also knowing what you’re, you need to know your clientele. Like, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of something called the love language. Nadine, you probably have heard that the love language of you. Yeah. So that’s a really key fundamental when trying to build rapport with people because we all you know, if you speak Chinese Janna, you don’t speak English, now I’m speaking English at you, you’re going to struggle to understand me, it’s going to be hard for me to get through to you. So with the love language, we all interpret love in a slightly different way. And, and that’s one of the most I think it’s the strongest emotion possible. And I think if you can implement that into your exercise, and you know that your trainer really, genuinely loves you and wants the best outcome for you, that helps build a stronger level of trust. And then it helps you really sort of be prepared the client be prepared to go the extra mile because you always go the extra mile for the people who love you and I are able to express that in the way that you receive it, you know, so that’s why the PTS get the best out of the class is because of what emotion says. So that was very long winded.
Great answer,
just just respond by saying there’s massive lessons there for recruitment. Because if you think back to the first thing you said to me was was about in the past my question was about about the type of people you recruit. And it was surprising because I Oh, because you recruit you were specifically looking for things that you might not expect to find in the gym. Yeah, you’re recruiting to the message as great. Brilliant. Yeah, thank you, Max. Yeah,
like she said, about 50% of those that you’ve taken on have had to train as pts.
Max [15:17]
My personal trainers weren’t PTS before they started. They were people that I’ve met, who are just instantly believed in. And, and then obviously, they were interested in exercise and whatnot. So Ian, for example, he’s, he’s, the members loved him. And he’s done amazing. But he started by coming to our gym, and being a client. And I just remember, every time he came in, he had great energy, social skills were great. And I always felt like when I was when I was around him, I wasn’t the only person who was thinking about the conversation. And I thought, and to me, that’s a great sign that someone has the potential to be a good personal trainer is because, you know, if, if you’re the person who’s usually stimulating the conversation, you’ve got someone doing that to you, then they can do that for someone else who maybe doesn’t have the confidence yet to create that stimulation in the conversation. And then obviously, you know, there’s this, there’s methods to becoming a good personal trainer, there’s a simple formula, really what you need to do. And then it’s just a case of copying and pasting, but making sure that you’ve got the right person for the job.
Nadine Powrie [16:23]
You just said something you said, I instantly believed in, you know, a specific person to become a PT. So, um, how much of your intuition Do you do you use when you are hiring? You know, PT, for example.
Max [16:43]
It has, I think you’ve got, there’s a lot to say about trust that you got. And, you know, like, I’ve had quite a few people who tried to get the job, and I just feel like, I always go with my gut, in the end, you know, I wouldn’t take someone on who I thought taught the Good talk, I have to have to feel it, you know, again, it’s, it’s about being able to feel that emotional connection. And I feel like with being working in a gym, it’s so important to be able to create emotional connections with people, because that builds a stronger level of rapport. And again, rapport is power, you know, you need to have as much power as a personal trainer with the client, because you need the power of influence, you need the power of being able to say, some, maybe not the right decision to make or the Weldon’s really, you know, get the best in the same way that you would be if you were any sort of coach. So if they don’t really get my emotions, fair enough, then I wouldn’t really consider them the job, but then and then in another breath, you know, I would be I don’t know, yeah, that’s kind of how I’ve always gone up it. And so far, it’s worked out well. And I think, if anything, by doing that, it creates a stronger level of trust from the start, because I’m trusting them and installing belief in them when they have nothing to offer other than just being themselves. And with them coming into the job, knowing that just being mean is enough for me to be here gives them a good solid foundation of feeling okay with, with trying things and just, you know, going for really, because they’re not trying to be someone who they’re not which often I think, when people go for a job, they put themselves up here, whereas the skill level might be here, whereas IPTS are coming in knowing that they’re going to be here, but the excitement of what they could become
to do you know, that’s really smart on a whole series of levels, you know, to have somebody starting a role, knowing that they need to learn and train in order to be able to grow into that role, I think is really smart because it completely sidesteps the whole will you’ve just mentioned it the idea of someone coming in and going, okay, here I am, folks, we can sort of start now. So that so entity immediately introduces a level of humility, which I happen to believe is the most number one attitude for leadership. And, indeed, immediately introduces the idea of their own progress and their own learning, which, what a surprise is what they’re going to promote. In the clients. You call them clients that they’re working with. Yeah. Just just two examples. That’s so smart on on in so many ways, Max, yeah.
Max [19:30]
Oh, thank you. straightaway, going back to the basic human needs to feel fulfilled, you need to be ticking the boxes of growth and contribution. So when it started, it’s like anything you know, when you first start doing something, you start making progress and progress equals happiness. So straight away anything from where they are is progress. You know, from getting there, the first time to learn how to do X, Y and Zed so that Feeling of progress straightaway is you know is level to happiness but to feel true fulfillment, if you are growing in an area where you can contribute, that’s where really create fulfillment because you know, giving is the start of the receiving process and then growing to be able to contribute, which just from, from my experience, just watching them, you know, people fall in love with that pretty quickly.
Yeah, I’m bursting with questions, but I don’t want to.
I was just wanting to come in about the apprentices because it makes me laugh in a very happy sort of way is that you go in, and the apprentices clean the gym. And these are two boys about what 18 or
Max [20:50]
17? And yeah, 70.
You know, has been you pluck them from school. I don’t think they had any particular career path in mind. And as they’re cleaning the gym, they have headphones on and they have to, they have to listen to podcasts, in terms of personal development. And so you’ll stop and have a quick chat with him. And our this is really interesting. He’s saying this not so even with the apprentices, he’s beginning to develop this culture of learning. And I think I don’t know what the conversations are like with your team behind the scenes. But I know that each one of them has bought into as entirely bought into the ethos and the expectations of the gym. There’s none, that’s, there’s none that stay the course that don’t buy into it, wouldn’t you say, Max? And it’s not like that you impose it from the top except for that, perhaps the apprentices. But the PTS actually say to me, there’s been a few new ones recently. And if I say, you know, how are you getting on, they’re always saying, it’s wonderful. It’s the most amazing place, people love to be there. Because of this ethos that you’ve set, both from the clients point of view, and from the the people who work there as well, which is quite something to achieve. When you think, Max, that you’re probably younger. Yeah, I think you are younger than all our kids. And also, you know, we’re all ex ex head teachers, and we, you know, we’ve learned about being leaders, but you haven’t you haven’t gone through university, you haven’t gone through formal learning. So how do you establish yourself as a leader? Or how do you know what to do? Good question.
Max [22:46]
How do you know what to do in regards to being a leader? Yeah, yeah. The right questions. In the sense of, I think, there’s always been, I’m an only child. So I’ve always had to be curious. I think curiosity is really, really important when it comes to any sort of anything, really. So I think, with no one what the right thing to do with regards to being a good leader, I wouldn’t class myself, I mean, I guess I am a leader. But I wouldn’t class myself as a leader, because I would put myself on the same level as my team. And I think it’s about walking with them, rather than walking in front of them, or if anything walking behind them, you know, so I’ll ask them, What do you think about this? You know, and, you know, maybe if the answer isn’t what I think it should be, I would question and be like, okay, convince me, you know, like, what happens in this sense. So, I think it’s really important when you’re trying to, I mean, don’t get me wrong, I could totally improve, we can we, I mean, we can all improve, you know, I definitely would like to improve my, my leadership skills, but I feel like, the way I do it is by talking to them on a level, and I feel by doing that, you know, really befriending them. And, and there’s a big, there’s a big thing about that we’re in business and everyone’s like, don’t be friends with them, you know, makes it difficult and stuff. But I think the deeper the connection that you have with the people that you work with, the more prepared they are to go out the way to help you in the same way that you are for them if you’ve got a deeper connection with them. So, you know, really, I just make sure that you know, one I do value their opinions and two, I’m interested to find out what their views are. And three, I guess, you know, you again, you gotta go with you got I’ve done I’ve been in in this sort of industry for for 15 years now. 15 years now 10 years 10 years. So and you know, I’ve seen a lot of good managers, a lot of poor managers and, and I feel like the the correlation with the good with the bad ones is usually lack of communication and lack of interest. I remember I was I was a top selling personal trainer, and in the current treat for Nuffield health, and my general manager had had maybe three conversations with me, whilst I was at that gym, you know, no one had ever sold as many PT sessions that I had done, I’d really it was, I think it was the most underperforming gym in the country. And when I went there, within the first three weeks I’ve made at the top performing in that area, and he only ever pulled me up when there was something wrong going, or he only ever, you know, it just made me feel insignificant. I was never recognized for that I was doing it for I was trying to build my own career, really, but I didn’t feel significant in regards to what I brought to the table, because I really had brought a lot to the table. And, you know, so I learned from that, that it’s super important to celebrate your coworkers achievements, which I think builds a stronger bond, which again, like, who doesn’t love to be celebrated and told, wow, that was amazing, you know, especially when you put in some hard work. So I think that has led me to becoming a stronger leader. Again, it’s just emotional intelligence, I guess.
That’s kind of what Ryan’s come in here just says I want to hear Max speak more.
Max [26:18]
talk all day just
to make it because, you know, we’re, we’re, we three are here. And we were here each week. And I know marks watched us a number of weeks. But for him to come in and say that, you know, it’s really valuing what you’re saying, Max.
And I think to having that, I think we can interpret that in two ways. And they’re both valid. One is one in this session. Another one? Let’s get you back. Yeah,
Nadine Powrie [26:48]
I want to talk about the positive mindset. Because I mean, of course, at the most, you know, coming back to, to the, to this world in which we are at the moment, there are a lot of people out there who are tired. Exhausted, burnout stressed, you know, and the focus on this particular LinkedIn live was about, you know, growing a positive mindset, to to boost your well being. So, so how do you do that? Because, you know, you didn’t know anything about COVID-19 lightcurves, actually, and you’ve had to adapt and probably create, you know, speak to clients, you know, that language that you say you are using a different language. Okay, yeah. How do you mean, when people are low, like really low? How do you pick them up so that they can, as you say, you know, progress towards some kind of goals or, and, and change their mindset so that they’re not focusing on the glass is half empty, but the glass is half full, given the context in which we are at the moment in the world? How do you do that?
Max [28:07]
In regards to how would I work, if I had someone in front of me right? Now? How would I get them, I would match their energy initially, and hear them out. So they would feel heard. So I would let them say what they needed to say. So that they felt heard, and then they knew that I was there to not just, you know, pump them up, you know, and I would need to become almost very much like them initially, to build a stronger level of rapport, so that they would feel more open to hear me, you know, so if you’ve got someone who’s like, really down on, there’s nothing to do the world’s terrible, blah, blah, blah, and I’m like, the world’s great, everything’s amazing. I’m not mirroring that, you know, because communic 7% of communication is verbal, so we’re missing out 97% of communication to build rapport. So I will probably mirror the body language, probably talk in a very similar way. And slowly start to introduce questions, you know, so someone’s like, it’s just so hard at the moment. You know, I feel like I’ve tried everything, and I just can’t seem to get it to where, you know, I’d be like, well, you know, I’ve got an idea, but, you know, I need your advice at first. No, what do you think about that? You know, and they’d probably be like, I like this guy. But you know, if I was like, you need to do that. You just got to match a mirror. And I think first initially, make them feel heard. Secondly, ask them questions. Because a most a lot of people right now are in a victim mindset. Life’s happening to them rather than for them. And you know, and I’ve been through this multiple times today, I took myself out because I’ve, I feel I’ve lost a few members. Today. A few people canceled because we’re very lucky at the moment. There’s lots of people continuing to spot the gym, but a few people cancelled all at once, and it’s like a feeling of rejection. And, and no rejection is quite a painful feeling. And you can feel it sitting on me and I was the seeing things, not for how they were but worse than they were. And that’s quite often I think what we do is we don’t see them, or they are. So I took myself out and I was I went surfing because I knew that motion creates emotion, I knew that needed to change the way that I moved to influence the way I was feeling. But the whole time I was out there, the shift wasn’t very good. It was really choppy. It was I was tired. I was beating myself up and I had to stop myself. And and this is going back to how would I pick someone up that I’m going to use myself as an example. I had to stop myself when I was in the middle of the sea, get bashed around and said to myself, right? What do I want my outcome to be? How am I feeling today to start off with, right? I’m feeling low, I’m feeling rejected. I feel sad. And I was like, right, okay, do I want to feel this way? And I was like, No, I don’t want to feel this way. I was like, right. Okay. How do I want to feel? So I found out where I was. And then I decided where I wanted to be. And then I needed to bridge the gap. So how do I get there? And how you get those by quality questions. You know, if you get poor quality answers at the moment, it’s probably because you’re asking poor quality questions. So how do I want to feel I want to feel happy. Okay, what if What do I need to do to feel happy? And as I need to stop dwelling? And I was like, why am I dwelling? And I was like, I feel rejected, or so why do I feel rejected? And I went down that road, that road, so I heard myself and I was like, right, okay. If I keep that’s happened. Now, what’s happened, that bit of rejections happened, they’re canceled, does it feel great, but it’s happened, and no matter how much I split me demand and feel this feeling, I can’t change that now. I just have to not dwell and accept a lot of what’s going on, we need to focus on accepting. And I think right now, we’re focusing so much on what we’ve lost, that we’re actually you know, where you look is where you go. And we’re focusing so much on what we’ve lost, that we’re not really accepting. And that’s not allowing us to move forwards. So you know, this morning, and the difficult person who I’m trying to pick up, I just need to hear myself first or hear them, I need to find out what I want the outcome to be. And then it’s about finding the solution of how we get there. And knowing that you don’t always get the answer straightaway, you have to be really tenacious with when questioning yourself or others until you get the the answer that you want, you know, so I was like, you know, I want to be happy. And I was like, Well, what do I need to do to be happy? And straightaway in my head when I didn’t know? And I was like, No, well, if I didn’t know, what would I, what would it be, and I was like, well, maybe I need to focus on some things that make me feel good. And then I started focusing on things that made me feel good. And then I was like, Okay, what’s great about my life, and then start to really focus on gratitude, because you can’t feel bad when you’re in a state of gratitude. So I was trying to focus on that, but I still couldn’t get it to link I couldn’t get it to link. But that’s because what I was thinking, and what I was saying, in my head wasn’t matched with the same intensity, as my body language, you need to make sure that if you want to change your emotional state, that you need to change one your focus, but you need to also radically change your, your physical, the way you are really hard to be chuffed, and, and full of energy when you’re sat there like this. And it’s very, very easy to feel down and depressed when you’re like this, because you’ve got to make sure that your body language matches your thoughts. So straightaway, what I did was when I was in the water, still getting bashed about chest up, started moving with with energy, and I was like, what’s great about my life, and I’ll say it out loud as like, I love my girlfriend, I love my dogs. I love the fact that I’m in the sea, I’m set, I was saying everything I love whilst moving up, you know, totally on my own. You know, and then suddenly, my mental state started to change, I caught a wave. That was brilliant. Well done that start giving myself some positive feedback. And as I’ve done that, I’ve kind of tricked myself out of that state of dwelling of so to answer your question, how would I get someone to pick themselves up? I would hear them, I would help them decide what they wanted. And then I would get them to find out the solution to getting there but also get them to match their physical with their mental, and then over time getting them to do that habitually. Because I think habitually, we go into negative states of mind. And that’s just a habit, just live behavior. It doesn’t have to be that way. But sometimes I think we think it does.
Nadine Powrie [34:45]
It’s, I mean, it’s fascinating what you’re talking about, and when I go up to Newcastle, to see Jenny, hopefully I can meet with you, Max and you can give me you know, you can be on my personal trainer for a few hours. I’d love to be put through that. Actually, I’d love to be put through that. I do have a question because you’re not doing face to face at the moment in the Gmail, you know, okay. Yeah, yeah. So you’re online through a screen. Okay. So so how different is that in terms, you know if I saw you face to face and if I saw you online, so what’s going to be different?
Before you answer that, Max, because I’m on the receiving end of this, and I, I’d like to give my perspective on this before you come in. And I have to say that doing it face to face is completely knackering doing it doing it on the video, it was completely knackering. And the reason it took me a while to figure it out, is because you can imagine knowing me and knowing Max, now how much we talk. So you know, when you have your 62nd burst, and then you have 60 seconds rest in between, it can quite often go into a number of minutes, because we get really involved in what we’re talking about. But when you’re on face to face, it’s much harder, because you don’t have the same chit chat, you can still talk but it’s a little bit less personal. Now, it could be quite different for the people. But I just wanted to put my perspective in there, Max, you, you do a number how many people are you doing face to face at the minute, not too much.
Max [36:31]
About eight, eight sessions a week, so not not not anything on what I used to do. Like, you know, again, so in Jenny’s one to one person sessions in the gym, I know that Jenny loves talking. So again,
it takes just then like talking,
Max [36:52]
I also enjoy the conversation. But in the sense that I think right now, so like, when we’re doing the online stuff, I’m kind of probably training Jenny in a different way to how I would usually train it, simply because I think this, it, it definitely interferes with the ability to connect, you know, sometimes, the conversation lags a little bit. So you know, the connections not as strong, which can impact how much how in depth you can get into a conversation with someone. So I think, you know, it’s, it’s been a lot harder for some people with doing the workouts because it’s been a little less talk. But for others as well, I think a lot of people have really missed, missed that experience of connecting with, with, with someone you know, because as much of a lot of my clients come for the workout, I think sometimes a lot of them come for, you know, a bit of hope. You know, in the sense of like, I unconditionally believe in unconditionally, believe in people. You know, I feel like, one of my strongest talents is recognizing what’s great about people. And, you know, I think when people come to the gym, again, they end up leaving, feeling pretty significant, because not through any, like, I don’t go into the session thinking about, Okay, what’s great about someone, it just naturally happens. And you know, I’m very open to expressing how I feel about people. So I think that combined with the the movement makes people feel feel really good. And that’s, that’s something that’s a little bit different at the moment with doing it on the iPad and stuff is because you don’t have it’s a little bit more of a challenge to connect on that. That level. That’s something that you experience in real life, I think
Nadine Powrie [38:40]
it’s I mean, you know, talking to you right now, it’s quite difficult to imagine that you’re a personal trainer, I see you more as a coach, actually. So perhaps more similar to the, to the work that I do. And I’m just sitting here thinking, gosh, if I was with Max in a, you know, let’s say the gym, I’ve reopened, and we’re in a gym and you talk like that, I think I’d be afraid to be absolutely exhausted, because I would have spoken a lot to you. And I will I would ever exercise a lot. You know, we all have limits and I know that only meets can be in our mind, but we do have limits physical ones, particularly at a certain age, right? How do you make sure that there is a fine balance between you know, the talking the conversation when you are connecting? It’s, it’s a great relationship. And actually, you know, ultimately the clients are there for the well being so it’s more the physical side of things. How do you make sure that you got the right balance?
Max [39:40]
Knowing your client? So some of my clients I don’t talk to anyone there as much as I talked to Jenny, but I know that for Jenny is a multitude of things. You know, she likes to come in for the workout but she also really likes women for the stimulating conversation. You know, it’s it’s a time during her week where You know, to me, I feel like Jenny is a really special person. But I really let her know that whether or not she recognizes that you know why she enjoys coming, there’s a huge part of where she’ll feel significant because what she has to say is important. And it is important, because I’m learning from it. So she’s getting lots of ticks in multiple different areas, whereas some of my clients who turned up, are just there for the training. And I’m aware, they’re just there for the train, and they’re not there for the conversation. So it just goes back to knowing your client. You know, I think me and Jen, Jenny were like, 65, we’re always exercising. But we always make sure that we’re, you know, Jenny’s passion is learning and coaching. So, you know, trying to add that passion into exercise, which exercise wasn’t really a something that Jenny, you didn’t go to the gym before working with me, really, it wasn’t something that you really weren’t that keen on.
If you remember my first session with Max, I was forced to go to take somebody else’s place. And I sat there with my body language like this. And this was when I began within about 10 minutes to realize just how special Max was, because he the questions he asked me, and then he took me through to some of the equipment. So I was there an hour and an hour, you know, I was probably in my early to mid 60s When I came to you, Max. And I’d never been to a gym before. And by the end of that, one hour of talk, predominantly talking, because we sat in that little office and talk for a bit, you asked me questions, and then went onto the machine, I still wasn’t convinced of the machine. But he had, he had changed my mindset within that hour. And my question to you, then that, if you remember was I said to you a trained coach, because somehow he was 21. And he had, he had the skills to turn a to turn me from being so negative. And so lacking an interest into somebody, and I mean, I now go twice, you know, nothing will stop me. Unless I’m in Dubai. But then I realized now in Dubai, I can actually do it online, whereas I couldn’t before. So Max’s ability to, to do both aspects was very clear from the beginning. And I think that, echoing what he says, we both get a lot out of it, there are certain things he makes me do when you I just can’t speak. But you know, so you know, we get the gaps.
Max [42:40]
But yeah, but like, what was Jenny said, you know, if you get someone and you can put this in any any area of teaching, for example, this is what teachers probably should do. And if they did, they would, they would bring the best out of people, I knew that the gym was massively out of Jenny’s comfort zone, I could tell by her body language that she didn’t want to be there. And she didn’t feel she was she was scared, there was too much uncertainty. And again, that’s one of the basic needs. So when there’s too much uncertainty, we need to bring in certainty and significance. So I would ask her a lot of questions about what she did. And I was trying to find out what her triggers were, what our passions were. And by getting her to talk about what she was passionate about, because people love talking about their passions or their fears. So by getting Jenny to talk about what she was passionate about, and to really, really go into that, not only was it massively interesting, and I was loving that, but it was giving her want a bit of certainty because it was putting her focus in an area where she knew to it was something that she was passionate about. So she was focusing on the things that make her feel good, which was starting to even out the seesaw, you know, not feeling good, because I’m in the gym, and I don’t know I’m doing and this is scary to I’m feeling a bit better now because I’ve got a bit more significance. And then naturally, once we’ve figured out right, okay, this is where she feels good at this is where she feels confident. And now we’re in a state emotional state of feeling confident and significant. And I’ve got the certainty that I’m okay, when we start introducing things that maybe are going to put me out of our comfort zone, our emotional states and much, we’re in a much stronger position. Where and that’s where a lot of personal trainers go wrong, is they get someone who’s massively out of their comfort zone for teachers, master, they get a child who’s out of their comfort zone, and then put them in a position where they’re even more out of the comfort zone without having built any sort of, you know, confidence and I can I can speak from that. And my sense because was really dyslexic didn’t really know how to read properly at school, you know, 80% of what I did at school was usually the wrong thing. So I’d already turned up in a state of hyper anxiety. So then, in a state of hyper anxiety to be given, this is what you’re doing today. Having not changed my emotional, your emotional state will massively impact whether you do a good Governor, you know, sort of thing as any sort of coach or teacher, learning one how to control your own emotional state, but to knowing how to influence your client or students emotions, too, is key to being able to bring out the best in.
Nadine Powrie [45:17]
You said earlier on progress equal happiness, fulfillment equal gross. I’m going to challenge you a little bit on progress equal happiness. I think if you told that to me for who I am, I think I may disagree with you for me, right? For me, progress isn’t always happiness. And I’m thinking, you know, high achievers who always want to do better. For example, I don’t see progress necessarily as happiness. I see it as it must happen for me to be even better.
Max [45:58]
Okay. Have you ever felt when progressing?
Nadine Powrie [46:02]
Oh, I don’t necessarily think about how I feel. I think about the future. When you’re talking to a high achiever, they think about the next step, right? They’re not necessarily in the present moment. How do you cope with people like that?
Max [46:20]
People who aren’t in the present moment?
Nadine Powrie [46:22]
Yeah, who are you know, high achievers. always want more? So when you say progress equal happiness? For me, I’m not particularly progress equal. That’s what I should be doing. It’s normal. Well, it doesn’t.
Max [46:39]
Well, I would say if you weren’t progressing, would you be happier?
Nadine Powrie [46:44]
If you were Strophic.
Max [46:48]
Yeah, exactly. So for you to be okay, you need to make progress. So I would question that. Maybe progress does make you happy. Because if we were to flip it, and watch your life regress, you probably wouldn’t feel good. But maybe if you’re a high achiever, and you’re so used to feeling, you know, seeing progress, that puts you on the pathway to start to feel good. You know, if you think of any area in your life, when you made some achieved, you think about your biggest achievement and been your biggest achievement where you’ve worked really, really hard. You’ve had to grow and grow and grow. And then once you’ve achieved it, you know, did you feel did you feel bad? Or were you like, Oh, God, I’m so disappointed that I achieved that. Oh, you’re like, Well, yes, I’ve achieved that answer the next day. Now.
Nadine Powrie [47:33]
I think the danger with high achiever is that you don’t see it in the moment. You see it perhaps after, but in the moment, you don’t see it, because you’re straightaway looking at the future. And what’s
actually like that, you are exactly like that. Because, yes,
Nadine Powrie [47:54]
you remember,
Max [47:57]
I totally right. So I totally agree. Not recognizing that you’re progressing, so the focus is in the wrong place. So for example, then he was gonna say, when you open the second gym, you were still just focused on what you haven’t achieved, and you didn’t feel great. But that was simply because I wasn’t recognizing how much progress I had actually made. I was just focusing on what I hadn’t done. So if I was to focus on the fact that I had made the progress, it would make me feel good. But the fact that my focus was all in the area where I wasn’t, and again, where your focus goes, that will massively influence your emotional state. And if you’re focusing on what you haven’t done yet, and what you don’t have, you’re probably not going to feel great. Whereas if, if you were to focus on the little wins, and to see those wins, you probably would be like, great, great, you’re not going to feel bad. You know, so how would I get someone to be more in the moment? How would I get someone to be more in the moment? So this is something that I’m personally trying to work on myself as well. So
do you remember what we did? I got you, when you had the first gen. And then you were desperate for the second one. And I was saying, you know, just appreciate what you’ve got and embed it or because you told me completely. I went on and open the next one, which is twice the size and even then you weren’t, you didn’t feel you were successful enough. So you what I said, Okay, walk out that door, and walk back in and look at it through the eyes of you when you were 15. When
Max [49:35]
and what that did was it made me realize that I progressed, whereas I totally can understand what you’re saying they didn’t because high achievers is a restless feeling being ambitious because you’re focusing more of what you’re trying to get rather than what you’ve got. Which sometimes, you know, success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And a lot of people, you know, end up being hyper successful and being pissed off and miserable. And so it’s really important to recognize when you are making progress. But again, a lot of it goes to standards, you know, I would say, the times where I’ve made mass progress, initially, I might have felt great. But then soon that, you know, it’s died, because you’ve got to always be progressing to feel good. You have to always keep moving forward, if you make progress and then start initially, that might feel okay, but eventually you’re either progressing or regressing. There’s nothing that stays still the world moves on, you know? So I would, how would I get someone to to be more in the moment? Again, it’s just about redirecting the focus, getting them to recognize how much progress they’ve actually made. Wow, you were here. Now you’re here, you know, and getting them to set goals, the goals themselves quite often, like coaches set their goals, or that their clients or, you know, don’t actually inspire them to choose themselves what they what they want. Yeah, I
Nadine Powrie [51:09]
never want sorry.
Max [51:11]
I was gonna say, I’ve never I’ve never come across anyone who said that they don’t feel happy when they’re progressing.
Nadine Powrie [51:18]
Yeah, well, they exist. I am. I’m perhaps one of them. But one of the things that, that can be helpful, and certainly that has helped me in my life has been my, my children. And my friends, my children, who are your age, actually, next. When they make you, they make me stop, and they make me look at what I have for now. And my friends as well, you know, like Jenny, and Jan, who constantly reminded me of a number of things that perhaps I take for granted. So sometimes the self talk isn’t quite sufficient, or somebody that you don’t know, isn’t quite sufficient. Sometimes it can be family, it can be friends, that makes you look at things in a different way. Because they know you. You know, I mean, I totally get when you say the relationship and everything, I absolutely agree with you. But I also think that’s a we never know someone. i It’s my philosophy in life. But I think we never know someone, the people that will know you best are probably people that are very close to you. You know, because of the history. I mean, my children, of course, you know, they know me very well. But like Jenny and Jan, because we’ve got history of friendships, you know, we’ve, we’ve lived experiences on the other side of the world. And that makes people very, very close. And, yeah, I think it’s that, and I think it’s also, I had a coach, actually, who made me she made me at the time, and that was really hard for me, actually. Every night, I would reflect on the success, right. So I would have to find, you hear my language, right? I would have to find success, because what was success to people wasn’t necessarily successful me. For me, it was yeah, of course, I have done that. You know, I expect Nadine, to deliver that. So I just think that, you know, personal training might be another tool that people can use, if they have the right personal trainer in front of them, to make you to make you shift that mindset.
Max [53:53]
You just said things well entity, about just going back to you said you expect that from yourself. And I always say to my clients, if you change your expectations for appreciation, then you’ll be one step closer to feeling good. Because whenever we’ve got an expectation, this goes back to about high achievers, we expect ourselves to to do X, Y and Zed. But if we appreciated when we did, then we would be able to link progress with happiness in that little bit of a would probably feel that prove that happiness that little bit more so. Whereas for as long as we expect, how many times have you you’ve gone to a film expecting it to be funny, and then it stopped being funny. Or how many times have you you know, when you’ve gotten out with your friends on a spontaneous night and you’ve had the best time ever? So then you planned months ahead of we’re gonna go here for the weekend. It’s gonna be amazing. Oh my god, we’re gonna have the best time and then you turn up and it just wasn’t what you’d hoped it to be, you know, so that the spontaneous times are always better than the planned times because there’s an expectation and whatnot, but goes back to that You know what you were saying about yourself? I expect this from myself. And I can relate to that, because I’m exactly the same. But for as long as we’re expected and appreciated, I think that’s where we’ll always struggle to feel happiness with progression.
Nadine Powrie [55:15]
Yeah, yeah. I mean, you’ve just made me real. Think, actually, that if I, if I ever work with a personal trainer in the next few months, when when I can, then they will, they would have to follow your track, actually, and your track record and who you are, to work with me, because I think it’s all about choosing the right people to love. You know, if you want to change your mindset, if you want to feel better for your well being, surround yourself with the people that you will allow them, you know, to shift your mindset. And you’ve set the bar very high here to them.
Max [55:59]
Are you going to struggle to find anyone?
Nadine Powrie [56:03]
There’s always what is that? Yeah, no excuse, actually, you know, that’s a challenge for you. Every City’s everything is possible. We’ve got about four minutes left before we come to an end. Jenny, John marks, is there anything? Any message any key message you want to share?
John, you’re trying to come in, won’t you?
I’ve been trying to come in for the last half hour Yeah. Oops, no. Well, well, whilst that might be true, don’t take it as being a negative thing, because the conversation has been fantastic. And I was very aware of marks, very wise sentiments. So let’s, let’s hear my max a lot. I’ve been thinking so many things, one of the things I’ve been thinking that the last bit of compensation in particular, I think we could sum up as, as in three ways, there’s a there’s a perspective, there’s a balance, and there’s an authenticity, I think, which comes into, into progress, and being happy with your lat. So if you if you don’t have if you if you if you don’t have a perspective on where you are, then then you’re you’re not capable of seeing the progress that you’ve made. If you’re out of balance with where you’re expecting to get it was your expectation over experience thing? Match? You know, you got to see if what you expect to be a funny film when it’s rubbish. You know, it’s the same with with you in progress. And the other thing is authentic. And I think a lot of people fall into the trap of expecting progress to be something isn’t. I mean, well, I mentioned hollowness at the start, actually. And I think I think there are certain things regarding, for example, if people are measuring progress by the amount they earn, or by the size, their bank account, there’s a whole lot of things, that isn’t a way to do that, because you’ll never, you’ll never feel that you’ve gone up and that that’s well documented. You know, that’s, so it’s about being authentic, about the things that you’re setting as being your your goals. So it sounds like I’m trying to contribute, but what was really doing there was trying to summarize the things. So bit of a bit of conversation, really, I like
I like that summary, John’s talents.
Yeah. And the other thing is, and I really think we need to come back to this because I think, again, going back to the recruitment thing, you we’ve talked about a trajectory that your people who come to work for you are set out on, you know, where they’re learning and developing, and they feel really good because they’re making progress. And then I think we, we ought to make time to explore the whole idea of how you prevent plateauing can’t stay on that trajectory for the rest of your working life. And what will happen is they’ll leave when they begin to, you know, if they sort of level out the plateau. So you must have some very smart ways I would imagine, of dealing with people who are approaching the plateau, you know, they’ve gone like this, and then wham that, you know, there’s a whole series of stuff to do recruitment in there as well, which I think will to
Max [59:18]
make it so good that they don’t want to leave.
So there’s something you’re doing Max, there’s something you’re doing, which you may not realize, but we’re better tease out that I mean, you might realize it Forgive me, but which, which I think is a is a gem there, which people will absolutely want to hear about. And I think we could Yeah, yeah, this has been this has been great. I mean, let’s let’s let’s get max back, you know, as often as you possibly can spare the time.
Nadine Powrie [59:46]
Genuine, do you want? Do you want to say something? No,
no, no, I was. I’m just so pleased that we’ve we’ve had this time and we’ve been listening to Mike because we talk so much and I’ve wanted to give Max applause form because to me, he is quite an extraordinary young man with an amazing brain on his shoulders. And for somebody who was seen as a sort of as not perhaps being so successful at school. Well, yeah, yeah, I’ve got a massive herd as well. But with that without ego, and that’s the other thing is the gym isn’t full of egos. Just to quickly bring in as Hunter shoes come in saying leading effectively is very interesting topic, in my opinion, sharing common values, having a clear and agreed upon vision, and giving people the trust and respect they deserve, which is what you’ve been saying, Max, isn’t it? Teaching coaching training and adjusting actions based on feedback is crucial to successful leadership. Thanks, guys, for the great thoughts.
Nadine Powrie [1:00:44]
Thank you very much. Thank you,
Deborah, key message I just said, there are key messages in here for so many different sectors, you know, map Maps was referring to teaching and educating pupils and students, of course, and if you think about sports, coaching and coaching, and you know, you’re in the fitness industry, but as you know, the kind of there’s a massive overlap, massive overlap.
Yeah. Because leadership, yeah.
Nadine Powrie [1:01:14]
I just want to give you, you know, an opportunity to say, the final message and to share with us, if people want to connect with you, how do they go about it,
Max [1:01:28]
the final message, the door of opportunity is always open for those who keep knocking. And right now, after doors all still feel like they’re being closed, keep knocking away, keep looking for how you can make it work, eventually, the door will open, just make sure whatever, whilst the world feels like it’s given upon, you just don’t give up on yourself. Just keep plugging away. And if anyone wants to reach out to me and get in touch with me, type in maximum fitness, Newcastle on Facebook, or Instagram, and you can get in contact us gets in contact with us through there. Or if you simply just want to enjoy the content that we put out there watch from a distance, and hopefully you’ll be inspired. Or maybe you have a lot on Google along the way.
Nadine Powrie [1:02:08]
Thanks so much, Max. Really, it’s been a we’ve had a great hour hour and continued speaking with you. But you know, time is precious. And thank you very much x. And we will have you back again, right. We want to we want to do we want to talk to and you also need to come on a podcast, actually. But we can talk about that once we offer. Thank you very much, everybody. And we will see you next week. And just to share that next week, we have a very, very different roundtable because we’ve invited some generations Zed, young people from universities. So we will have three or four students, university students coming to our roundtable with Jenny, John and myself. So will I’m sure we’ll continue on what we started to discuss today. We’ll continue to touch on that next week. But until then, it’s goodbye from London. Thank you so much, everybody.
Yeah, goodbye, everybody. Thanks a lot. Bye guys.